Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
