my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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