If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
