my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
