she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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