Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Randomize
