Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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