So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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