You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
