I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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