she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
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