So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
