You just made me feel so damn special
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
