Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Randomize
