Are we in a gay sports bar?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
