She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
