You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
