I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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