I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He kissed a someone with a penis
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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