yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I would fuck him just for his dog
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
