Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
