That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
