How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
