ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
