I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize