Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize