my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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