I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
