I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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