If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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