i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
