I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
