i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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