so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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