Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just had sex on a roof
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
