Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
