Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
