Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize