3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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