I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize