You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
this is an emotional support booty call
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
