She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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