they need to just BURY HIM!
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
