Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
