she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
