She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
