I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
