Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
