They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
