If that was your dad, he is hot
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
