i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
God I need to hump something, right now.
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