I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Vodka?
Forever.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
