Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
