just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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