Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
