Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
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