oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You pole danced in your parka.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
