his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
