I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
